NurtureHer

Give your baby and your partner the best start by doing your research.

If you have just found out that you and your partner are expecting a baby, whether it is your first or your fifth, it might feel like everything revolves around the person who is growing the belly, feeling the symptoms and the kicks, and creating life (cue angelic singing and clouds of pink and blue glitter.) If it is your first child, before birth, you might not even feel like a dad yet. That is a feeling that is totally normal and okay, and many women have similar feelings. But when it comes to preparing for a baby, there is no such thing as being too ready. So, roll up your sleeves and dive in, daddy! There is a lot of work to be done.

It is understandable why many men do not feel much of a need to prepare themselves for pregnancy, birth, or newborn baby care. They aren’t the ones feeling physical changes, and if you look up any information on the topics, there are thousands of articles and books targeting moms specifically. Hardly any resources are directed at dads. In my opinion, that does dad a huge disservice! Why should you be left out? This is a life changing and, sometimes, once in a lifetime experience. Dad should be fully immersed, included, and educated. Don’t cheat yourself out of it.

You are needed! It isn’t just about holding her hand at every prenatal checkup, making a cute pregnancy announcement, and picking out a nursery theme together (although those are nice things to do!) The supportive role of a father or partner is vital to the health and well-being of the expecting mama and the new baby alike. Multitudes of studies have shown several benefits for babies and mothers when fathers are involved, from decreases in maternal smoking, decreases in maternal postpartum depression, and decreases in low birth weight in babies. Obviously, the more involved and prepared you are to take on your new role, the easier and better the outcomes will be for everyone, including you. Happy wife, happy life. Happy baby, it’s all gravy! Happy dad, life is rad! Okay, I will stop now.

But why not just leave it up to your darling wife or girlfriend? She is the one experiencing pregnancy and birth. She knows herself best, and women have an intuitive ability to know what the baby needs, right? And anyway, it’s all so overwhelming. You wouldn’t know where to start. What would men know about all of that? She is happy to do it, so you may as well give her the steering wheel on this project.

Excuses excuses, my man! Now is the time to think about the kind of father and partner you want to be. Doesn’t your family deserve your best? And don’t you deserve to have the best experience of fatherhood? Don’t let yourself miss out on the most magical time in your life.Yeah, it might also be the hardest, but that is exactly why your support is needed.

If you aren’t sure where to start, think of this as a great opportunity to begin a necessary conversation with your partner. There are so many things to discuss, but it is best to first get on the same page about priorities. Ask your lady what kind of parenting style she might want to use. Talk about expectations for baby care and make a plan to cope with those sleepless nights. Sign up for a parenting or newborn care class together or browse the parenting section of your local library. What is the budget for nursery furniture, the car seat, the stroller or buggy? How does your partner envision her ideal birth experience? What can you do to help her ease her pregnancy symptoms? Remember, communication is key.

You are so important to your child and your partner. Don’t underestimate your value. I am sure that your wife or girlfriend would absolutely love to hear your thoughts and ideas, talk about parenting expectations, dreams and wishes for your child, and creating a birth plan together. This will be the most vulnerable point in your partner’s and baby’s life. They need you, dad, so get in the game. Be the best version of you.