NurtureHer

Advice for New Parents on Baby’s First Thanksgiving

In Germany, new parents are called freshly baked parents, or frischgebackene Eltnern, which I find irrissistably charming and so appropriate for the coming holiday season.

So, if you are feeling especially freshly baked this year, Thanksgiving might look a little different for you. Here is how to not just survive, but thrive.

Between diaper changes, nap schedules, mountains of laundry, sleepless nights, crying (from both you and the baby, most likely), keeping your little one entertained, and the stress that all of that brings along, it can feel hard to enjoy the holiday at all, let alone the way you used to.

Getting through every day life as a new parent can be hard enough, so a holiday might feel impossible to manage. Don’t let that get you down.

Baby’s first Thanksgiving can still be not just special and memorable, but also enjoyable.

Here’s a list of low key but meaningful ways you can make this Thanksgiving actually nice for you and your partner without exhausting yourselves.

And remember that these are suggestions to enhance your life, not requirements to meet in order to acheive good parent status. The best way to make the holiday nice for your baby and family is just to be present and as unruffled as possible.

1. Start a Simple Tradition–I mean very simple

First, I want to suggest that this not be something that you need to do much prep work for or need to buy a lot of supplies to do.

Your baby may not remember this Thanksgiving, but you might not either. Unfortunately, time and exhaustion will rob us of our memories, but if you have a little reminder, you’ll look back on these first moments fondly–when the sleep deprivation has given you the magical parent amnesia that makes you forget the hard parts.

I suggest making hand turkies. I remember making these in elementary school every year out of construction paper and glue. Your baby probably can’t use scissors and glue yet, but you could glob some brown paint onto their grubby, adorable little hand and press it onto a piece of paper. In a pinch, you could even use gravy. You can even draw on the turkey features and stick it into a scrapbook later after the holiday chaos is over. Plus, you will never ever tire of marveling at how tiny their hand was last year and how much they have grown.

I actually have a laminated paint hand print from my daughter that I have kept on my refrigerator for five years. I am not exaggerating when I saw I feel joy every time I look at it.

Another easy tradition could be to just snap a family selfie together before everyone digs in to their piled-high plates. Or pick out a cute story book that centers gratitude or a funny story about a turkey.

I can be nice to have each family member write down things that they are thankful for this year and put them in a time capsule to be read next year or even when baby is eighteen.

3. Take imperfect pictures

Let’s be honest. Most of us don’t love having our photos taken, especially when it’s in bad lighting or an awkward angle, or we aren’t feeling like we look our best. And who feels their best when they haven’t slept for 3 to 36 months?

Take the pictures anyway.

Dads, often it is mom who remembers to take family photos, so we end up with albums and smartphones stuffed full of cute pictures of our kids with dad, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends…everyone except mom. Even if she complains that she doesn’t look good, take them.

Moms, stop hiding from the camera. You are gorgeous. To your children, you are the most beautiful human being that ever existed. In ten years, you will look at pictures of yourself and think “how did I not see how young and beautiful I looked?!” And nobody is going to be looking at these photos and judging you for a modeling job. It’s about the memories. Get in the photos. You will thank me later.

4. Ask for help

What can I say? Team work makes the dream work.

Let go of pride and ask for help. Everyone and their mothers knows that life is just harder when you have a tiny terrorist in your home.

You forgot to pick up milk? You ran out of eggs? You bought beef broth instead of vegetable for the vegan stuffing? Now is the time when it actually is okay to ask your neighbor if you can borrow two eggs or a cup of sugar.

Go ahead and call your bachelor brother and ask him to pick up diapers and sour cream.

Let Aunt Betsy bring her famous mashed potatoes, and while she is at it ask her if she can make the sweet potatoes too!

Let. People. Help. You.

5. Savour the little moments of quiet and goodness

So, it just took you 57 minutes to get baby to sleep and now you can’t move or she will wake up. And you still need to put the rolls in the oven and take the laundry out of the washing machine?

Wow. Talk about stressful.

But also, is your baby the most beautiful, precious angel with her perfect little nose or his beautiful long lashes and that little cupid’s bow mouth in a pout while he sleeps? absolutely.

Choose the beauty over the stress. Hold your baby, smell his head, feel how warm and heavy he is in your arms. Wonder at her perfect little fingers curled into an impossibly tiny fist. Laugh at the flour strewn across the carpet because your toddler wanted to help. Forget about what people will think about the handprints smeared on the windows.

Thanksgiving will come every year. Your baby will not be a baby forever. Choose to see the fleeting silver linings to the clouds. It will all pass, the good and the bad. Focus on the good so you can endure the hard stuff.